tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
