Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
