I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
