Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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