Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
