McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Vodka?
Forever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
