She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
