thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
