Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
