Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
