I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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