TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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