I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I party with great urgency now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
