Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
