I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
