She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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