that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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