from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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