I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
