I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
