i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
