i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
