We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize