forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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