Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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