Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
