ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
