sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
