lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
there is glitter all over my balls
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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