I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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