You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
