I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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