Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
