We got so high we made milksteak
Don't EVER smell your tampon
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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