we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
