And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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