I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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