plz talk dirty to me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize