This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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