yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
