I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
