I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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