"it" just moved
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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