Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
