hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
