She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
