You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
