Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
