Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you would pick up someone in the library
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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