Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
