Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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