Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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