i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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