And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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