It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
