Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
