if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
