he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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