just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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