I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
