Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
