Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
