she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
