i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize