It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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