He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
