i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
